is being online hampering your creative expression?

The NYT Magazine's On Technology essay by Jenna Wortham this week speaks to much of what I (and I suspect my friends) have been thinking about lately. How can wide freedom of creativity and connectedness happen online? And in what ways does the very fact of it being online limit the conversation?

“The internet should be a place with no rules, and freedom, but it’s not,” Piñero said. “There is a certain pressure to conform to certain aesthetics.” It was something I had noticed myself. Each social-media platform tends to reward certain behaviors and styles of posting, all in the interest of building fans and followers who are invested in the performance of a persona (maybe even more so than the Geppetto-like person orchestrating it all). Instagram is a place for intimate-seeming photos, Twitter for clever quips and collaborative memes. Facebook demands an unmitigated rawness that can be terrifying at times. With all, the works are often made to fit the platform, not the other way around.


read the article here.

{life lab} the chore wheel

I hate chore charts and reward systems. I do not believe that I should pay the kids to help out in their own house and luckily they are very willing to help when I ask - but it takes too much nagging energy to keep up with 3 kids, a stupidly huge old house, 2 dogs, 2 cats, 5 mice, 4 chickens, a crab and fish etc... you get the idea. 
We have tried several things and nothing works or feels right for very long. The best approach we have come up with is the chore wheel. On it, I have listed the very minimum of daily maintenance chores that need to be done. Each kid has a clothes pin that rotates around the wheel each day. The idea is that we work on these chores first thing in the morning before we go anywhere or start working on other projects. 
Things get tricky around here because we have a very full (+fun) schedule. If we can keep these basics going as habit we are never with out clothes or come home to a completely trashed kitchen. Of course, some days it does not all happen because we are rushed out the door and might not come home until evening. That is ok. It is a guideline. 
My kids get do pocket money just for being a part of the family. I also offer them ways to earn extra money here and there with extra jobs (cleaning out the silverware drawer etc.) And sometimes they just have to help clean all day. 
The chore wheel changes every now and then but it has served as a great visual and hands-on tool for helping us all keep a home care rhythm. 
I would love to hear about how your family shares the work load. Leave a message in the comments...
(a picture of our command station in progress. we have a calendar, our family values, the chore wheel, a season wheel, a family portrait and a bit of mail art from a friend. sometimes my to-do list is on post it notes on the wall too. i like that because it feels good to take them down and toss them when i am done). in the same room we have a chalk board wall and a big cork board.)

{life lab} the stories we attach to our stuff

We all talk about de-cluttering all the time, don't we? We buy books, sign up for classes, do challenges, try for 15 minutes to clear out clutter, and wonder how we got so much stuff in the first place.

In our family, we have 5 people who are interested in so many things. We like to go to garage sales, we get loads of gifts on birthdays and holidays, and we have no problem buying the tools we need for our latest area of interest. And, I am not sure, but I am pretty sure that homeschooling might exacerbate the situation.

In the last few years I have gotten rid of nearly half my books. This was not easy, I love to read and browse through my shelves. It is also wonderful knowing I have a "just the book" on a variety of topics that might arise. But, there is still too much.

Cull after cull, there is still too much. I want to go deeper.

So, I have begun to think about the stories we attach to our stuff. And re-evaluating those stories to see if they still hold true.

One of my biggest stories is that I need to have a house full of resources for my ever curious children. But, after a little digging I can see that this is not really a valid argument. We live near a library that has thousands of books on its shelves. We also have internet access at home and a variety of people who we can call to ask for help or guidance on many topics. And, I have come to see that in many ways having all these "resources" actually limits my kid's thinking. They are rarely excited when I pull a book from the shelf and hand it to them, because I have in effect removed them from the process of seeking their own knowledge. So, although we still have tons of books, I have released many, many back to the world and have opened more space for exploration and investigation. I am trying to get rid of half. That is a big goal because I am now cutting deep into my collection and hitting a lot of nerves.

Another huge story for me (and I hope someone can relate) is that I am going to read novels. I collect them from the library sale table for pocket change. Best sellers, ones I have seen recommended on other blogs, pretty covered gems with the all the possibility of sweet escape. But, I rarely read them. I read nonfiction, memoir and essays with ease and hunger. Fiction, not so much. It seems like something that I should be reading, but I can rarely get past a chapter or two before falling asleep. So, out with most of the fiction that I know I will not read. I still have a handful or classics and specially chosen ones I do want to read, but I have at least 100 that I do not need.

I am so curious about the stories you hold regarding your stuff. Do you keep tons of fabric for the day you might sew all your own clothes? What about tools for projects that you think you might want to do, someday? School research papers that you will reread in your old age? Or boxes and boxes of recyclables for craft making?

The thing I am realizing, is that all this stuff, we think holds possibilities for better versions of ourselves.  It is like a drawer of clothes two sizes to small. We think if we hold on to these things, we can get back to something we once were or something we have always aspired to be. But, we are also letting the weeds grow over a million other possible paths, interests and experiences. It is like we have a huge field full of long soft grass and beautiful wildflowers - and we keep walking the same path, over and over, packing hard the dirt of comfortable possibilities and completely ignoring the vast field of all that might be.

So, with this post, I encourage you - and me, to get off the path, explore further, look in new places and a great way to start this process is clear out the crap (even the good stuff).

Now, if I could just release my vintage camera and clock collection...

Please share a comment about your journey with stuff...

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want to go deeper with more of your stories and do some deep personal excavation? 

check out my lab, A Book About Me - we start April 1st!

"This lab will help you find yourself. the self you lost or has become submerged in the constant din of quotidian noise and bustle. She might be awkward or sad after all these years, but she is still there, waiting for you to call her forth. "