a free gift for you :: Heart -Centred ebook (+ a peak at my essay)

Guess what? I have contributed to a new ebook titled Heart Centred Living with Intention, Grace and Growth edited by Deb Dane from Home Life Simplified. 19 essays, nearly 100 pages of mama essays about living the creative, self care filled, heart centered family life. 

You can download the free book here! Pop it on your reader and enjoy the essays when you have little bits of down time this season. 

Here is a peak at my submission

On the Runway

We are sitting by our neighborhood urban lake. There are as many birds, ducks and water fowl as there are cars rushing past and buildings full of dutiful workers.

A feather captures my attention as it floats by on the surface of the water. The contrast of the natural unfolding beauty of this place with the hectic pace of human activity always makes my gut lurch. The distance is so wide.

Suddenly,  geese from just around the bend charge us! There are nearly twenty of them running like a derailed locomotive, honking, wings outstretched far. Eva grabs our tiny dog and dives to me for safety. We look at the onslaught with mouths agape as the geese go around us like a river around an ancient boulder. They head into the road squawking and sounding like a chaotic brass horn band playing a cabaret song that has been unwound and spills from the sheet music. The sound, the song is immense.

"I wonder what they are doing?" I wonder out loud to no one in particular.   

"Mom, they are taking off and we are in their runway" my son answers.

"We are in their runway."

The words wash over me as powerfully as the birds had passed. As we all look at each other with eyes still wide, I thought, this is what I want for my kids. To always be on the runway, the place of action where dreams and ideas are taking flight.

I want them to either bear witness to the luminous action and explosive ideas around them or better yet, to be in the thick, messy nidus of it.  Always near the pulse of human (and animal) creative longing and making.  

The exhilaration of sitting near the flow of creative energy offers unparallelled motivation to engage and change the world. We need to be like dowsing rods, highly sensitive to the flow just beneath the surface. We have to look past the noise of the informational glut. To see under the celebrity and  commercial crust that surrounds us and seems impenetrable. Listen closely! We can hear all that us underneath. And we connect with other diviners and become the creators, not the consumers of our lives.

The thing is, the action is not always as cacophonous as a gaggle of geese. In fact, most times it is subtle and tiny and discreet.  My job is to encourage them to stop, look and then find a way to make sense of the experience,  through talking, writing or art/sense making . That is our curriculum. We spend our days lost in thought. Laying under trees. Reading. Looking under rocks. Wondering. Seeing shows. Asking. Making food. Talking to strangers. Getting lost. And then plotting our way back.

After the geese, we spend time watching an ant who fell off a twig into the lake.

Elliot says, "Oh no! My ant is drowning!" He scans the ground nearby looking for the materials to initiate a rescue. But then he sees that the ant is swimming. It is hard, slow work, but he is doing it. We all cheer for him as he climbs up onto a piece of floating duck weed.

“I had no idea ants could swim.” he whispers to no one in particular.

“Maybe we all have secret, hidden abilities that become accessible in certain situations.” I answer.

Maybe. Maybe we do not know what we are capable of until we see others struggling against their own limits.

Maybe the answers are always all around us. Our creative impetus is fueled when we  stop and listen and look and record and play with the ideas.

That is it. That is all it has always been.

It is all quest. There is no destination when we are on the runway.

{how to} make a simple advent tradition

OK. Here is the deal. I really dislike highly curated crafts and experiences for kids. Especially during the holidays. You can search Pinterest for advent calendars and will see some really amazing things. But in our house, the mama's creative interests lay elsewhere. And the kids want to be a part of the planning and tradition making. So, our holiday projects are messier, less color-coordinated and I contend, easier and more fun.

Our advent is in the top 5 favorite holiday activities. I think I love it as much as the kids. It acts as a touchstone and organizing activity. I wanted to share the way it has evolved in our family and offer an example of the great memory making that can happen when we drop the perfection and engage our kids in the process

+ Get 25 envelopes. You can use white ones, colored ones, homemade, whatever. It does not matter! I like these little coin envelopes that I use when sending badges and goodies to my lab participants. They come in packages of a gazillion, so I always have a bunch. 

+ Let the kids decorate them. Get our rubber stamps, paint, glitter, magazines, anything that might be fun. And let go. Really let them go for it. You will have the most amazingly beautiful and meaningful envelopes no matter what they do. You can jump in and make a few too of course. 

+ Hang them on a string as a garland or put in a box or bowl. Again, whatever works for you. You might even deliver one each day in your indoor family mailbox. 

+ Fill them with activities. I put in the actives I KNOW are happening in advance and fill the rest as the month goes along. So many times, something really fun comes up and alters our plan so I keep it loose. I make a list that I keep with my calendar and usually organize a few days at a time. Most are so simple, there is not much to do.

The key to this project is that you listen to what your kids think are the most important holiday activities and make sure they are covered. Sprinkle that with a few new ideas and lots of very simple activities and you have month of fun.  Hopefully, this makes the anticipation for Christmas more bearable by spreading the magic out over an entire month.


Here are many ideas to get your creative juices flowing. PLEASE leave your ideas on this project in the comments.

anything that is already on your calendar that is remotely fun
movie nights
pancakes + cocoa for breakfast
make cookies/caramels/peppermint bark
make homemade dog treats
make wrapping paper
caroling
make bird feeders
read a favorite book
take a solstice walk
holiday spa baths
take wish list items to the SPCA
lunch with a friend or grandparent
plays and performances
parade
any local events
paint your nails red + green
string popcorn and cranberries
kind bomb the library or the store
make peppermint bath salts
make salt dough ornaments
make gingerbread/peppermint/cocoa play dough
conduct an oral history of the elders (find out what the holidays were like for them)
hang twinkle lights in the bathroom + bedrooms
have a candle lit dinner
decorate tshirts to sleep in
make coffee filter snowflakes
open a new game to play
download Lego instructions for holiday themed projects
write letters back and forth to the North Pole
drive around and look at lights
make origami to hang on the tree
donate a car full of old toys and clothes
play with shaving cream and little animals in a tray
sing some songs/learn a song on the piano/recorder
do a treasure hunt for a little gift
service work
go on a photo hunt for red + green things
ice skating
play date
family lego/mine craft/rainbow loom party
Skype far away friends or family
make the biggest snowflake ever
make holiday cards/thank you cards
decorate the mouse cages

thank you + happy thanksgiving

Dear awesome readers,

I hope your day is filled with good food, pretty weather and lots of laughs. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your readership, comments and good cheer. I do not take lightly that I show up in your mailbox or feed and fret a lot about that responsibility. I am looking forward to the upcoming year and offering quality content and unique ideas that support you and your quest for a creative family life.

Peace!
Amy

{review} Grayson

Wow. This book touched my heart and filled my head with beautiful imagery that I take to bed with me each night. We read together at bedtime were instantly smitten.

The calm, attentive and at times, riveting account of distance swimmer Lynne Cox's encounter with a lost baby gray whale when she was a teenager training in the Pacific Ocean serves as a mediation of love, deep connection to nature, and the magic that surrounds us. Her vivid description of swimming through bioluminescent creatures in the dark early hours of morning made our heads spin with wonder.

Highly recommended, this memoir would be a perfect gift for anyone who loves the ocean, swimming, the natural world, or just a good yarn.

Have you read Grayson? What were your thoughts?

Any other good memoirs to recommend?

{giveaway} Celebrations of Light :: A Wintertime Family eGuide

Today, I am so excited to offer a giveaway to YOU. 

I am offering a copy of Celebrations of Light:: A Wintertime Family eGuide edited by Liz from A Natural Nester. 

This guide is nearly 40 pages full of rituals, crafts, recipes and inspiration. I love, love, love that it focuses on the smaller holidays of the season like advent, solstice, St. Nicholas Day, St. Lucia Day, and New Years. There is plenty here to help you expand your season and begin to explore and add new traditions to your family's holiday. 

Check out a few sample pages of this beautiful guide and then enter by leaving a comment about YOUR favorite holiday tradition. That is it! 

I will pick a winner on Wednesday. Good luck!

You can also order a copy by clicking on the icon on the side bar. 

Amy 

gladsome

My word of the year this year was fly. And, boy, was I able to slide towards the end of the year with a literal and figurative flying experience.

Last weekend, I traveled alone to Ohio to retreat with women whom I have never met. From my airport pick up to my post conference home stay, I was surrounded by new (+ online) friends in close quarters. Sharing meals and clean ups, telling stories, drumming and hiking together, laughing and crying in turn. And drinking lots of tea.

I wrote and slept and ate the best soups and chilies. I was transfixed by the falling leaves. Up north, they take their time finding the ground, spinning and fluttering in ways I am completely unaccustomed to. I saw deer and chipmunks, snow and mud, waterfalls and giant milkweeds.

And I came home refreshed and stronger.

I am stronger because I did not say no when this opportunity presented it.

I am stronger because even as my stomach lurched early on, I stayed the course.

I am stronger because I offered myself fully to a diverse and fascinating group of women and they enveloped me.

This experience will remain tucked into a tiny drawer in my mind and heart forever. Bonding so strongly in such a short period of time does that. You get to take all you learned, all that was etched in your memory on subsequent travels.

Thank you Gladsome. I can not wait until next year.

{rant} :: Lego, you got it all wrong.

Lego, you got it all wrong.

I was up in arms, like the good feminist mom I am, when you released your Friends sets to girls.

They are too cute, way too easy to build, overly promote vapid, self-limiting girly activities like shopping, eating sweets, going to the hair salon and being a rock singer. Where is the challenge? The adventure? Where are the colors that inch away from the pink/purple/magenta end of the spectrum?

But my daughter, who plays Legos with her brothers, thought they were cool, so she got them and they were incorporated into the kids' play.

INCORPORATED is the key word.

At home they are incorporated, sort of like the real world. In the store they are 3 rows apart. Worlds apart really.

But here is the rub, that I did not even think about, boys are missing out too. My boys who have nearly every Lego set they have ever asked for are getting bored. They are tired of battling Star Wars or Hero Factory or Ninjago.

Sometimes they just want to just play life.

They want to build real communities. But to do that fully they have to head to the aisle that works so hard to exclude them with its doe eyed, dripping pink, victim/vixon plastic menagerie.

You might suggest the primary-colored City theme comes close - but it is a little public works oriented. I mean, not everyone wants to be a garbage truck driver or police man. In the real world, men can do helpful, even heroic things, and go to the cupcake shop. They get their hair styled and teach at a school.

This is not about gender bending (or Brony culture), this is about fully participating in life. Becoming a whole, multidimensional person and knowing how to feel comfortable in all aspects of human life.

Am I naive to think that if boys were allowed to fully engage in society the need for overly violent games would diminish. I don't think so. I am with kids 24 hours a day. I watch them. I have seen boys in school and in public being continuously fed a limiting role to play in our culture. They are shot down  (sometimes subtly, sometimes barbarically) if they begin to stray off the acceptable path of masculinity.

When you falsely separate the Lego worlds, you force kids to make a choice. A hard choice that has girls and boys, having to physically walk to another section of the store where they are sent signals that they are a foreigner and not supposed to be there. That takes a pretty empowered kid to cross that line. The interior dialogue might be: "Today, I am liking this better, but I might be weird, am I strong enough to make my own choice or should I just go back to my aisle where it is easier. I don't really belong here, do I? This is not meant for me."

Many adults I know struggle and have a hard time straying from the norm. How and why do expect kids to be able to do it?

And to be clear, these boys of mine love to battle and make things from duct tape. They fart and pick their noses and like to be gross. They are very stereotypical boys in many ways.  They are not the shy, delicate boys who just want to play with dolls (although, of course, I would have no problem with that either).

But times have changed, Lego. These boys play hard and then come in and help their Dad make dinner. They sew with their mom and watch her handle difficult people with ease and verbal skills. They help their dad with demolition projects and throw stuffed animal parties.

It is all there. Their world is so much richer than what you are offering them. Kids play is not just about creating fantasy worlds, but also as a place to work through the emotional detritus of their own lives. To practice playing parts and solving problems. So, what happens when we give them toys that splinter their world into disparate parts that have no chance of connecting with each other? Why such a complete and devastating fracture?

You have an opportunity to help boys + girls across the globe develop as whole beings.

And while you are certainly not the biggest piece of the problem, you are in a unique position to promote values of equality, exploration and wholeness.

What would happen if you stopped offering Legos in specifically boy and girl themes?

What if the packaging was not a gender indicator of the consumer?

What if you suggested that stores sell ALL the Legos on the same aisle?

What if you did not play to the lowest common denominator of mass consumer?

What if you became a leader and helped charter a world where boys and girls lives are integrated under the category of "kids"?

This extreme separation of toys, not only along gender line but also age lines too, is a direct result of unconscionable greed.

Sadly, I am sure you will stick to profit building as the guiding principle of your company. And reluctantly we will still support you by buying Legos as long as my kids want to build with them. But, be assured that my kids (and many others) subvert and use Legos in ways you will never see in your "test" groups. You are missing something so much bigger. Your simple, underestimation of children's culture will drive you into obsoletion much sooner as kids realize your limiting view of contemporary life. Of their lives.